Monday, April 4, 2011
One thing I work really hard to do with Sam is to avoid holding a grudge. Think about it - when we have fights or tough times with other adults, those incidents hang over us the next time we interact. We may respond with anger or sarcasm because the previous interaction is still in our minds. I can't do this with Sam. He is not thinking about the fact that five minutes ago he spit in my face when he comes and asks for a cookie for the hundredth time or when he throws a bunch of blocks. With Sam I think it is important to approach him with the right attitude each time. I try try try to keep my tone positive at the start of each interaction. Sam (like many typical kids) feeds off of negative attention. There is something about the adrenaline rush that often fuels him to repeat the things he is scolded for. So every morning and at every new interaction I try to remember to be glad to see him and to act as if he is going to be appropriate.I think that this is an important thing to do even with typical kids. Children are so much in the moment that to cloud our resposnes to them with previous negative feelings will just confuse them. I am not always successful with this but I try.