Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Pregnancy

I am now 23 weeks along and I haven't really posted about this pregnancy. Superstition may have played a small part in that but mostly I just didn't really know what to write. My early ultrasound at 11 weeks went well. I had my 20 week ultrasound (at 21 weeks) and they couldn't see the spine properly so I had to go back a week later. The whole week that followed I convinced myself that the baby had a spine deformity. The baby had flipped over by then and the doctor was able to see everything. I have a placental lake that the doctor wants to check on in a couple of months because there is a very slight chance that it could affect growth. So far there is no evidence of that. The baby is totally normal for age.

I didn't find out the gender. I found out for both of my other children and for both of them I enjoyed knowing. For some reason I feel like waiting until the delivery room this time. I had a strong feeling about the gender for the first two babes but I don't this time. I was sure it was a girl in the early months but over the past few weeks I have had the feeling it is a boy. I really don't trust my instincts on this one. My mind is so distracted with Sam's issues of late that I don't think I have had time to process any real intuitions I may have. A girl would make me feel safe. I know girls can have autism too but it is less likely. Perhaps having Maya gives me a false sense of security. Lately though I have been allowing my mind to wonder about having a boy - a typical boy. That would be great too- more than great. I just know I would spend the first year and a half on edge.

I was much sicker this time around. The morning sickness started a little later (8+ weeks) but it lasted until about 19/20 weeks. Near the end I wasn't throwing up everyday anymore but I was often close to it. Even though I have only been vomit free for a few weeks, I already feel like that stage was ages ago. That must be how people allow themselves to get pregnant again - If I have already forgotten the mroning sickness weeks later, imagine how little I will rememeber about it in a couple of years!

Sam is unaware of the pregnancy. People ask if I have told him. I haven't hidden it but he wouldn't know what I what I was saying if I DID tell him directly. Maya knows (as much as a 2 year old can know). SHe calls the baby "Baby Juice". She is very excited to know when Baby Juice is coming but I don't think the isea has much meaning for her. It is very cute to hear her talk about it. Anytime she sees something baby related she says, "That Baby Juice's clothes?" "That Baby Juice's blanket?" Very cute.

1 comment:

AutisticWisdom said...

Having been through the "scared my son is on the spectrum" experience myself, I can sympathesize. While it is more likely for boys to have the disorder, it is still a 5% chance for siblings so it is not likely. Most (not all) of the families I have seen with a child who has autism have the oldest child (usually male) and normal siblings. But then there are other families with more than one child impacted (I know MJ at Jabberwocky has three girls, all affected).

This is probably not very comforting, but try to remember the chance is still really low. Once you see your child start to respond to you (and you know what to expect - I had no idea until Tyler started to interact me what normal was), you will feel better about it.