I tried a church this morning - on my own, without the kids. It was really lovely. The congregation is tiny - there were about 50 people there total. Because the congregation is so small, during the passing of the peace, everyone literally greeted everyone else. For the last song, everyone held hands. It might just be hippy-dippy enough for me. I enough just having an hour of peace and quiet. I also think it was helpful for me to remember to think about people besides myself - to remember flood victims in Pakistan, people who have lost their jobs in this economic slowdown, victims of violence in the Sudan, and people who are sick and dying. I was able to put aside being sad about Sam and all his Autism has taken from our lives (and his life)and think about how lucky we are to have jobs a safe place to live.
I might go back another week or I might try a couple of other places. There is another church of the same denomination in a different town and I might check that out. I also heard about an Episcopal church that has a service designed for families dealign with Autism. It is a short service and the kids are not expected to sit the whole time ot to be quiet. I would like to try that one week as well. Then I have to make a choice. I don't know if I want to make church my "get away from it all" activity and just go by myself for now or if I want to kind a place I can bring the kids. I am not sure I would get the same benefit from a service with Sam chewing paper, jumping off the pews and making his noises. He is not going to understand the concept of church so is it worth choosing a place based on him? In a perfect scenario the church would have a regular service with a special needs Sunday school room. Then, I could get the nice calm church service and Sam could have an interesting place to play. But I can't find such a place. Tough call.
I met with the Director of Special Services for my town and he was open to considering another placement for Sam. True to form I brought 2 typed pages of notes on my concerns (since my first negative experience with the district I have been a nut about writing down my concerns and requests. That way everything is documented and dated - most special education issues have time limits and that way no one can jerk us around). He actually seemed upset that we were only presented with one option for Sam's original placement. Now, it is very possible he was giving me a sympathetic act. I am visiting the other option this week. It is another public school program a couple of towns over. I have heard good things from other parents and I know this school has more experience. It may be no better but I am excited to see. If it is no good then I have to battle for other options.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Dance
Both of my kiddos take "dance class" this year. Maya takes a Saturday morning class for 2 year olds. They have to wear full ballet gear (pink ballet shoes, pink tights, and a pink leotard). I was skeptical at first. 2 year olds? Really? But Maya loves to go to places full of kids so, since pre-school was out of our price range this year, I put her in dance class. SHe LOVES it beyond belief. The first day, when other kids cried or clung to mom and dad, Maya marched right in and got busy. They don't exactly get a lot of dancing done but the 45 minute class is full of great activities. They learn to follow directions, do things in a group, and pay attention to a teacher. The very very early stages of dance are introduced - toe pointing, leg lifting, "arms like a pizza pie". Maya cries when it is time to leave. I am sure that any recital they do will be ridiculous (did I mention they are 2?)but she is learning a lot along the way.
THe biggest issue I have with it is what to do with Sam while Maya is in there. The first day, he did a beautiful job listening to his earphones and eating a snack. Last week was a disaster. There is a door at the end of the hallway with an alarm on it. . . Luckily for me the owner took Sam into one of the other studios and let him run around. I ran to the bathroom to try not to cry in front of the other parents. As I have said many times, Sam has NO appropriate interests so I can't bring him a game, a puzzle, a handheld video game or anything like that. I told my husband that I really need him to work his Saturday schedule out so that he can either stay home with Sam or take Maya to class. We are getting to the point where I really can't do all this alone anymore. My husband is not used to having much more responsibility than getting Sam on the bus in the morning. All other times, including weekends, it is assumed I will be responsible for the kids. Now that they are staring to do things outside the house I need him to fugure out how to be more involved.
Sam also takes dance class. The owner is an amazing person. A few years ago a mother with two autistic daughters approached him and asked if he would consider doing anything for autistic kids. She was having a hard time finding anything in which she could enroll her kids outside of school. The Beyond Boundries class was born. There is one teacher but some of the other adults that work there and some of the students who dance there help out so, usually, each kids has a one-to-one "aide". I signed Sam up because the owner of the school is my neighbor. I really didn't think it would work out. We tried sample classes over the summer and Sam was way to hyper to participate in any of it. But I signed up anyway. As the start date grew near I began to doubt whether this was worth the time or the money. I was ready to quit before we even started. The first class was as ridiculous as I expected. Sam put everything in his mouth and ran around the room like a madman. The second class was pretty much the same but he did clap his hands and sway a few time. Today was our third class and Sam did great. He is still nowhere near the level of participation the other kids demonstrate but the difference from the first day until now is huge. Sam jumped with the music a few times, kicked the pad when instructed, swayed back and forth with his aide (the owner). Much of the time Sam looked spacey and confused but there were a few moments when he actually seemed engaged. I think we will stick with it for a while.
THe biggest issue I have with it is what to do with Sam while Maya is in there. The first day, he did a beautiful job listening to his earphones and eating a snack. Last week was a disaster. There is a door at the end of the hallway with an alarm on it. . . Luckily for me the owner took Sam into one of the other studios and let him run around. I ran to the bathroom to try not to cry in front of the other parents. As I have said many times, Sam has NO appropriate interests so I can't bring him a game, a puzzle, a handheld video game or anything like that. I told my husband that I really need him to work his Saturday schedule out so that he can either stay home with Sam or take Maya to class. We are getting to the point where I really can't do all this alone anymore. My husband is not used to having much more responsibility than getting Sam on the bus in the morning. All other times, including weekends, it is assumed I will be responsible for the kids. Now that they are staring to do things outside the house I need him to fugure out how to be more involved.
Sam also takes dance class. The owner is an amazing person. A few years ago a mother with two autistic daughters approached him and asked if he would consider doing anything for autistic kids. She was having a hard time finding anything in which she could enroll her kids outside of school. The Beyond Boundries class was born. There is one teacher but some of the other adults that work there and some of the students who dance there help out so, usually, each kids has a one-to-one "aide". I signed Sam up because the owner of the school is my neighbor. I really didn't think it would work out. We tried sample classes over the summer and Sam was way to hyper to participate in any of it. But I signed up anyway. As the start date grew near I began to doubt whether this was worth the time or the money. I was ready to quit before we even started. The first class was as ridiculous as I expected. Sam put everything in his mouth and ran around the room like a madman. The second class was pretty much the same but he did clap his hands and sway a few time. Today was our third class and Sam did great. He is still nowhere near the level of participation the other kids demonstrate but the difference from the first day until now is huge. Sam jumped with the music a few times, kicked the pad when instructed, swayed back and forth with his aide (the owner). Much of the time Sam looked spacey and confused but there were a few moments when he actually seemed engaged. I think we will stick with it for a while.
Sunday, October 3, 2010
School-sleep-pregnancy
So the district seems open to considering other placements. My case manager told me on the DL that she was pretty sure she was going to get this call from me b/c of my comments at Sam's last IEP meeting and she pointed otu Sam's test scores to the director. I want to see the other public program but I also want them to show me what other options might be available. I am supposed to speak to the director directly tomorrow. Cross your fingers for us.
On the sleep front, Sam is doing better. He often wakes up at 5 which isn't exactly the best thing but sometimes I can convince him to lie in bed with me for half an hour or so. On most days I have to get up at that point anyway. Unfortunately, a few days after Sam started sleeping through, Maya started waking again. She started sleeping a bit better this weekend. I really hope their sleep patterns even out before I have to deal with newborn night wakings again.
As for the pregnancy, I told my boss but I asked her to hold off spreading the word until all testing is complete. I am almost at 17 weeks and I don't know how much longer I can stay out of maternity clothes. I am much sicker with this one than the last. For me, it has been worse each time. Since I still have nausea and I still throw up from time to time, I am afraid it may be this way the whole time. The worst is when I take my prenatal vitamins - about 20 minutes later I lose everything in my gut. Fun.
There are moments when I think having another child is a great idea - times like when Maya chases Sam or he chases her and they laugh together. Other times, I think I have made a big mistake. Not that the child is unwanted or anything but that s/he may be more than I can handle. I won't be able to go to a grocery store or do much of anything unless I get serious help or my husband is able to set up a different schedule. I am not sure I can deal with even MORE isolation.
On the sleep front, Sam is doing better. He often wakes up at 5 which isn't exactly the best thing but sometimes I can convince him to lie in bed with me for half an hour or so. On most days I have to get up at that point anyway. Unfortunately, a few days after Sam started sleeping through, Maya started waking again. She started sleeping a bit better this weekend. I really hope their sleep patterns even out before I have to deal with newborn night wakings again.
As for the pregnancy, I told my boss but I asked her to hold off spreading the word until all testing is complete. I am almost at 17 weeks and I don't know how much longer I can stay out of maternity clothes. I am much sicker with this one than the last. For me, it has been worse each time. Since I still have nausea and I still throw up from time to time, I am afraid it may be this way the whole time. The worst is when I take my prenatal vitamins - about 20 minutes later I lose everything in my gut. Fun.
There are moments when I think having another child is a great idea - times like when Maya chases Sam or he chases her and they laugh together. Other times, I think I have made a big mistake. Not that the child is unwanted or anything but that s/he may be more than I can handle. I won't be able to go to a grocery store or do much of anything unless I get serious help or my husband is able to set up a different schedule. I am not sure I can deal with even MORE isolation.
Monday, September 27, 2010
School Frustration
Let me just say that I am about to rant about school but I feel a little guilty doing so because I know I live in a state with some of the best special education services. I know people in other states and countries might willingly give their left arm for these programs.
I feel very frustrated with Sam's school at the moment. When I feel this way I am never completely sure whether I am angry with the school or frustrated that Sam can't seem to progress - Whose "fault" is it? Is he more capable? Is the school good enough?
The seeds of my frustration were planted early. Right when Sam started school he developed an obsessive need to throw. At first it was food and small objects and he woudl just toss them again and again and again. . .Sam's program provides 12 hours a year of behavioral consultation. I had the behaviorist come and evaluate. Her first suggestion was to ignore the behavior (which RARELY works with Sam) and then to make him "pick up" every time he threw. He just incorporated the pick up into the stim. The behavior became a problem at school as well so they "took data" and developed a behavior plan for use in the classroom. That sounds great right? It took over 4 months for the behavior plan to be developed.
This seems to be a problem with the school. They take a "wait and see" approach to behavior problems at first, then they have to take data, then they have to consult with their outside group to develop the behavior plan, then implement. It takes FOREVER. With a kid like Sam this is not appropriate. Behaviors are very addictive to him and the longer they are allowed to brew, the worse they get.
Once a behavior plan is developed, I have to look it over and sign off. I sometimes have a good laugh. For example, a behavior plan was developed for Sam's vocal stims which are socially stigmatizing and very distracting for him. The first step in the plan was to tell Sam "shh" when he inappropriately vocalized. THe second step was to lightly touch his lips with a finger and say "shh". Seriously. This is what someone was paid to come up with. I signed off and added a note in which I told them the plan was not strong enough and wouldn't work. SUrprise - it didn't work and was discontinued. No plan was developed in its place.
Right at the start of school this fall, I requested a consultation with the behaviorist to discuss Sam's sleep problems. We were dealing with the chemical end with the neurologist but I knew there must be a behavioral component as well. The behaviorist confirmed that she got the request . . . . and that is it. There is no appointment scheduled or anything. It has been nearly a month. I understand that everyone is busy at the start of school. WIth all the budget issues, this person is being pulled in many directions, I am sure. But this is not some small issue. Sam's lack of sleep was affecting his mood, his behavior and his family. How can you let a family go this long without even a phone call? I went ahead and tackled it as best I could but I would have felt better with some expert guidance.
I am also frustrated because Sam didn't make much progress at all last year. His progress reports were terrible. His teacher was lovely but far less experienced than the one he had the year before. Sam liked her very much but he got away with too much. For example, in Sam first year at school, with the strong teacher,(age 3-4) he began using an open cup in the classroom, he transitioned from a Riftin (sp?) to a regular chair, his need for edibles was reduced and he worked for other things. His second year, last year, he went back to the Riftin, went back the sippy cup and not only went back to pretty much all edibles but he began working for lollipops. This is the teacher he is with again this year and I am not happy about it. SHe is lovely and sweet but he is a nudge and he needs some one stronger.
I try to keep telling myself that the problem might be Sam and not the teacher. If I have trouble with him, I can't expect he will work perfectly for her. But really. Really?
I called my case manager last week because there is another public school program for Autism and they have much more experience. I KNOW from my various sources that some autistic kids in town have transferred there due to concerns with my son's school. I want to visit the program and see if it seems more "appropriate" (have to watch how you say things to the child study team!). I just told the case manager that I had some concerns I wanted to bounce off her. She said she would call me a work at 2:30 today. My cell phone was nearly dead so I called her ahead of time to set up an alternate number. She was out for the day. I am sure there is a good reason. She was probably ill but I bet she properly cancelled her other appointments. I cleared that time slot during my extra help schedule to talk to her and I am booked the rest of the week. I guess I will have to call her on every prep period until I get through. grrrrrr.
Plus, I am getting fat.
I feel very frustrated with Sam's school at the moment. When I feel this way I am never completely sure whether I am angry with the school or frustrated that Sam can't seem to progress - Whose "fault" is it? Is he more capable? Is the school good enough?
The seeds of my frustration were planted early. Right when Sam started school he developed an obsessive need to throw. At first it was food and small objects and he woudl just toss them again and again and again. . .Sam's program provides 12 hours a year of behavioral consultation. I had the behaviorist come and evaluate. Her first suggestion was to ignore the behavior (which RARELY works with Sam) and then to make him "pick up" every time he threw. He just incorporated the pick up into the stim. The behavior became a problem at school as well so they "took data" and developed a behavior plan for use in the classroom. That sounds great right? It took over 4 months for the behavior plan to be developed.
This seems to be a problem with the school. They take a "wait and see" approach to behavior problems at first, then they have to take data, then they have to consult with their outside group to develop the behavior plan, then implement. It takes FOREVER. With a kid like Sam this is not appropriate. Behaviors are very addictive to him and the longer they are allowed to brew, the worse they get.
Once a behavior plan is developed, I have to look it over and sign off. I sometimes have a good laugh. For example, a behavior plan was developed for Sam's vocal stims which are socially stigmatizing and very distracting for him. The first step in the plan was to tell Sam "shh" when he inappropriately vocalized. THe second step was to lightly touch his lips with a finger and say "shh". Seriously. This is what someone was paid to come up with. I signed off and added a note in which I told them the plan was not strong enough and wouldn't work. SUrprise - it didn't work and was discontinued. No plan was developed in its place.
Right at the start of school this fall, I requested a consultation with the behaviorist to discuss Sam's sleep problems. We were dealing with the chemical end with the neurologist but I knew there must be a behavioral component as well. The behaviorist confirmed that she got the request . . . . and that is it. There is no appointment scheduled or anything. It has been nearly a month. I understand that everyone is busy at the start of school. WIth all the budget issues, this person is being pulled in many directions, I am sure. But this is not some small issue. Sam's lack of sleep was affecting his mood, his behavior and his family. How can you let a family go this long without even a phone call? I went ahead and tackled it as best I could but I would have felt better with some expert guidance.
I am also frustrated because Sam didn't make much progress at all last year. His progress reports were terrible. His teacher was lovely but far less experienced than the one he had the year before. Sam liked her very much but he got away with too much. For example, in Sam first year at school, with the strong teacher,(age 3-4) he began using an open cup in the classroom, he transitioned from a Riftin (sp?) to a regular chair, his need for edibles was reduced and he worked for other things. His second year, last year, he went back to the Riftin, went back the sippy cup and not only went back to pretty much all edibles but he began working for lollipops. This is the teacher he is with again this year and I am not happy about it. SHe is lovely and sweet but he is a nudge and he needs some one stronger.
I try to keep telling myself that the problem might be Sam and not the teacher. If I have trouble with him, I can't expect he will work perfectly for her. But really. Really?
I called my case manager last week because there is another public school program for Autism and they have much more experience. I KNOW from my various sources that some autistic kids in town have transferred there due to concerns with my son's school. I want to visit the program and see if it seems more "appropriate" (have to watch how you say things to the child study team!). I just told the case manager that I had some concerns I wanted to bounce off her. She said she would call me a work at 2:30 today. My cell phone was nearly dead so I called her ahead of time to set up an alternate number. She was out for the day. I am sure there is a good reason. She was probably ill but I bet she properly cancelled her other appointments. I cleared that time slot during my extra help schedule to talk to her and I am booked the rest of the week. I guess I will have to call her on every prep period until I get through. grrrrrr.
Plus, I am getting fat.
Monday, September 20, 2010
Jammies
Sam did very well last night. He cried again at bedtime but only for about 10 minutes this time. He slept through the the night until 5:30 and I have to get up then for work anyway. We are headed in the right direction.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Night 2
Night one went better than expected. Sam woke at about 2:10 just like I expected. I took him to the toilet just to make sure that the need to pee didn't factor into any future night wakings. I put him back in his bed and repeated the routine. He cried and called for me. He pulled on the door. Then he tried the "naughty" stuff again, flicking the light switch and throwing a few toys. After about 10 minutes he climbed into bed and whimpered a bit. He switched to stimmy noises and hummed to himself for the next 20 minutes. At that point he let out one last "mama, mama" and then fell asleep. He slept for the rest of the night and didn't get up until just before 7am (late for him). I was very pleased. I was, of course, sad to make him cry and as penance I sat outside his door and listened to him long after I needed to. I was happy to see that he was in better spirits after a pretty good night's sleep (compared to what he has been getting lately).
Tonight, night 2, he cried again but for only 10 minutes and then he went right to sleep. I suspect we will repeat in the middle of the night but it seems the idea is sinking in. The possiblity of a full night of sleep for everyone soon is growing.
Tonight, night 2, he cried again but for only 10 minutes and then he went right to sleep. I suspect we will repeat in the middle of the night but it seems the idea is sinking in. The possiblity of a full night of sleep for everyone soon is growing.
Saturday, September 18, 2010
Here we go. . .
Sam's sleep issues persist and I am very tired. I suspect Sam is tired too but it manifests differently in him. His pattern is to insist I stay while he falls asleep. This actually doesn't take too long so if that were the only issue I could live with it. He sleeps until somewhere between 12 and 2. I suspect his little brain has gone through 1 long sleep cycle at that pointatsge 1,2,3 4,REM,4,3,2 and as he re-enters stage 1, a point when you or I would turn over, resettle or adjust our pillows, he snaps awake, looks for me and runs out of his room in a panic. I take him to the bathroom, escort him back and help him fall asleep again. It doesn't take too long. I go back to bed but before I can get into a real sleep cycle myself he is up again. This repeats about every hour until 4:30 or 5 and then he is done for the night
I have been on the phone with the neurologist every few days and she has been gracious enough to return all my calls even though there is nothing she can bill for. We discussed various options. The first was to assume this is behavioral and see if going back to a school routine "re-sets" his clock - it didn't. Also, I could let him "cry it out"- I feared this option. The second was to increase his medicine in the evening to increase sleepiness (and/or increase melatonin). The third was to give him a heavy sedative for a few nights to "break" his habit of running out of his room looking for me (she mentioned this option but said she was reluctant to try it unless we were out of other choices). The final option was to try Clonidine.
We both felt that we wanted to avoid adding another medication unless nothing else works. We adjusted when and how much he gets of his current medication and increased his melatonin. The benefit of this was that Sam began falling back to sleep more easily during the night. It did not prevent the wake-ups. So while he got a bit more sleep, I didn't. After yet another week of this I got a call from Sam's school - they were concerned about how tired he seemed (they also don't like the lunches I have been sending but that is another story). I was a little surprised since I informed them of the sleep issues a while ago. Surprise, he is tired. I even put in a request for the behaviorist to advise us (a request which I have not heard back about - but that is a whole other post). I also felt terrible at the end of this week. I have a full teaching schedule, Sam's afternoon therapy hours and a house to maintain. Did I mention I am pregnant? - yeah, almost 15 weeks but friends, please maintain Facebook silence on this one until I tell work.
I spoke to my husband this afternoon about the next step. I felt strongly that it would be a bad idea to add more medicine before trying a behavioral approach. Now that Sam has a boost with his current med and his supplement, he SHOULD be able to stay in his bed all night. The fatc that he is able to fall back asleep when I am in there tells me he SHOULD be able to make it through the night. The running out and looking for me seems behavioral to me. I told him I wanted to try to extinguish the behavior starting tonight. The hard part about this is that I cannot lock him in his room (no lock), he can climb any baby gate ( he is VERY tall), and his sister sleeps in the room next door. I didn't exactly have everything figured out but I started our bedtime routine determined to succeed.
I put Sam to bed with his usual song and then I walked out closing the gate behind me. As expected he began to freak out. It is terrible when your non-verbal son manages to scream out "mama mama mama" and you can't go. He cried and stomped and kicked and cried some more. He threw all his pillows out and climbed the gate. I put him back in. Repeat. I added a second, pressure mounted gate on top of the first but he punched it down. I held the doorknob. He pulled and cried. Then he decided to be naughty to see if I would come in. He started flicking his light switch and throwing toys. He tried the door a few more times, still screaming. I heard him climb into his bed and bury his face in his pillows. He continued crying but it got less intense. He ran tot he door again, pulled and screamed. He got back into bed and cried more quietly. The he fell asleep. The whole ordeal took 20 mintues. It was only 20 minutes. I don't want to minimize how emotionally painfull those minutes were for him (or me), but now he is asleep in his own bed and he fell asleep without me.
I don't like that I had to shut him in his room. That is not the kind of parenting I wanted to do. I just don't see any other choice. He doesn't have the comprehension to reason or bargain with. And when it became a choice between shutting him in and adding more medicine, I felt better about shutting him in.
I suspect he will wake at least once in the night and we will repeat this process but at least my resolve will not be new to him. WHen he wakes I plan to take him to the bathroom, put him back to bed and walk out. If I have to hold the door again I will. In the past, with issues like this, Sam has taken about 3 days to adjust. I am hoping this holds true. If, after a week of this, Sam still can't make it through the night, we will consider more drastic measures. I am looking forward to a few 8 hour nights later this week. I can't even imagine.
I have been on the phone with the neurologist every few days and she has been gracious enough to return all my calls even though there is nothing she can bill for. We discussed various options. The first was to assume this is behavioral and see if going back to a school routine "re-sets" his clock - it didn't. Also, I could let him "cry it out"- I feared this option. The second was to increase his medicine in the evening to increase sleepiness (and/or increase melatonin). The third was to give him a heavy sedative for a few nights to "break" his habit of running out of his room looking for me (she mentioned this option but said she was reluctant to try it unless we were out of other choices). The final option was to try Clonidine.
We both felt that we wanted to avoid adding another medication unless nothing else works. We adjusted when and how much he gets of his current medication and increased his melatonin. The benefit of this was that Sam began falling back to sleep more easily during the night. It did not prevent the wake-ups. So while he got a bit more sleep, I didn't. After yet another week of this I got a call from Sam's school - they were concerned about how tired he seemed (they also don't like the lunches I have been sending but that is another story). I was a little surprised since I informed them of the sleep issues a while ago. Surprise, he is tired. I even put in a request for the behaviorist to advise us (a request which I have not heard back about - but that is a whole other post). I also felt terrible at the end of this week. I have a full teaching schedule, Sam's afternoon therapy hours and a house to maintain. Did I mention I am pregnant? - yeah, almost 15 weeks but friends, please maintain Facebook silence on this one until I tell work.
I spoke to my husband this afternoon about the next step. I felt strongly that it would be a bad idea to add more medicine before trying a behavioral approach. Now that Sam has a boost with his current med and his supplement, he SHOULD be able to stay in his bed all night. The fatc that he is able to fall back asleep when I am in there tells me he SHOULD be able to make it through the night. The running out and looking for me seems behavioral to me. I told him I wanted to try to extinguish the behavior starting tonight. The hard part about this is that I cannot lock him in his room (no lock), he can climb any baby gate ( he is VERY tall), and his sister sleeps in the room next door. I didn't exactly have everything figured out but I started our bedtime routine determined to succeed.
I put Sam to bed with his usual song and then I walked out closing the gate behind me. As expected he began to freak out. It is terrible when your non-verbal son manages to scream out "mama mama mama" and you can't go. He cried and stomped and kicked and cried some more. He threw all his pillows out and climbed the gate. I put him back in. Repeat. I added a second, pressure mounted gate on top of the first but he punched it down. I held the doorknob. He pulled and cried. Then he decided to be naughty to see if I would come in. He started flicking his light switch and throwing toys. He tried the door a few more times, still screaming. I heard him climb into his bed and bury his face in his pillows. He continued crying but it got less intense. He ran tot he door again, pulled and screamed. He got back into bed and cried more quietly. The he fell asleep. The whole ordeal took 20 mintues. It was only 20 minutes. I don't want to minimize how emotionally painfull those minutes were for him (or me), but now he is asleep in his own bed and he fell asleep without me.
I don't like that I had to shut him in his room. That is not the kind of parenting I wanted to do. I just don't see any other choice. He doesn't have the comprehension to reason or bargain with. And when it became a choice between shutting him in and adding more medicine, I felt better about shutting him in.
I suspect he will wake at least once in the night and we will repeat this process but at least my resolve will not be new to him. WHen he wakes I plan to take him to the bathroom, put him back to bed and walk out. If I have to hold the door again I will. In the past, with issues like this, Sam has taken about 3 days to adjust. I am hoping this holds true. If, after a week of this, Sam still can't make it through the night, we will consider more drastic measures. I am looking forward to a few 8 hour nights later this week. I can't even imagine.
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