I check Autism message/support social network sites occansionally and I often read comments like "everything happens for a reason"and "this is what was meant to be". That kind of stuff really gets under my skin. Usually it is framed in some sort of religious context although not always. It troubles me that people can believe God just decided to start striking our kids with this devastating disorder. I DO believe in a very powerful life force that I call God but I believe what happens to us is largely due to our own actions and those of our society. I don't understand how some people can say things like "everything happens for a reason" or "this was meant to be" and still maintain that they have free will.
I know that sometimes these comments are just meant to encourage people to find the good in a situation. The belief that everything happens for a reason might lead one to search for that reason and glean something meaningful and positive. That is a good way to live but I still can't jive with some great wizard in the sky pointing his wand and saying "Autism for you!"
My son was not meant to be like this. It could be genetics, spontaneous mutation, pollution, shots, water filled with prescription drugs, or some other toxic chemical but I believe WE did this. WE, meaning my husband and I, possibly passing on some genetics defect, or WE, meaning society, poisoning our children. It is probably a WE that includes both of those things and maybe something more. Call on God for strength or comfort or peace but as the creator of Autism? No, that is all us.
Autism was not "meant to be". It just is.