I have often wondered what autism would do to the length and quality of Sam's life. He has behaviors that put him at risk for all kinds of dangers. I never considered I might face a health crisis that could limit my ability to care for him.
A few weeks ago, as I pulled up to a light, my heart started pounding, my face got warm, and I went blind. I shouted out, "I can't see" which took my two girls by surprise, I knocked my glasses off my face (I am not really sure why) and I tried to remember how many cars were about to come through the light (I was making a left so I knew a had a little time before I had to move). I fully expected that the next thing to happen would be my passing out or dying. Luckily, my vision returned 10-15 seconds later. I dropped the girls off, called out of work and had my husband take me to the emergency room. All tests were normal and they sent me home. Two days later I began having waves of faintness and a feeling that my vision might go again. I went back to the ER. CT scan was normal.
I saw a neurologist and a cardiologist. Both agreed it sounds more heart related than anything else. 24 Holter monitor was normal. Echocardiogram was normal. Now I am on a 3 week event monitor. I continue to have palpitations and waves of faintness. basically I feel like crap.
I am guessing that this is somehow stress or sleep deprivation related but I really don't know. I, of course, hope it is nothing serious. But so far it hasn't let up or gone away.
I have thought a lot about what would happen if I weren't here. I never prepared a plan for Sam's care. I honestly don't know where to start.