Saturday, April 13, 2013

Mortality

I have often wondered what autism would do to the length and quality of Sam's life.  He has behaviors that put him at risk for all kinds of dangers.  I never considered I might face a health crisis that could limit my ability to care for him.

A few weeks ago, as I pulled up to a light, my heart started pounding, my face got warm, and I went blind.  I shouted out, "I can't see" which took my two girls by surprise,  I knocked my glasses off my face (I am not really sure why) and I tried to remember how many cars were about to come through the light (I was making a left so I knew a had a little time before I had to move).  I fully expected that the next thing to happen would be my passing out or dying.  Luckily, my vision returned 10-15 seconds later.  I dropped the girls off, called out of work and had my husband take me to the emergency room.  All tests were normal and they sent me home.  Two days later I began having waves of faintness and a feeling that my vision might go again.  I went back to the ER.  CT scan was normal.

I saw a neurologist and a cardiologist.  Both agreed it sounds more heart related than anything else.  24 Holter monitor was normal.  Echocardiogram was normal.  Now I am on a 3 week event monitor.  I continue to have palpitations and waves of faintness.  basically I feel like crap.

I am guessing that this is somehow stress or sleep deprivation related but I really don't know.  I, of course, hope it is nothing serious.  But so far it hasn't let up or gone away.

I have thought a lot about what would happen if I weren't here.  I never prepared a plan for Sam's care. I honestly don't know where to start.

1 comment:

Athena Nagel said...

Good morning - just found your blog and wanted to reach out to you. I also have two kids on the spectrum, another with major mental health issues and another with medical issues. I would love to talk with you about this post via email - I may (hopefully) be able to help if you haven't received any answers yet. thestuffofsuccess@gmail.com (http://www.thestuffofsuccess.com)