In my self-absorbed state a couple of weeks ago, I was only worried about how I was going to get through the break between school and ESY. I can usually keep my temper in check and my sadness at bay for most of the day but by late afternoon I am at the end of my rope. listening to my books hit the floor, break apart and then get torn to shreds wears on me. Getiing spit on all day isn't fun either. In addition, at over four feet tall (and only 6 years old!!) Sam can reach most of the drawers and cabinets in the kitchen. He has smashed a number of things on the floor (luckily all plastic containers). I was not thinking about how all this would affect Maya. I have always assumed that until she starts school and has playdates, she won't really think to much about Sam's behavior - it will just be "Sam". I was wrong. She has had a tough week and I have seen her frustration grow. We have basically been housebound since Sam is very destructive in stores. With his impulse to push I am uncomfortable taking him to playgrounds where he might knock someone off the jungle gym. Some of her outbursts mimic mine and I am going to have to be better about yelling when I reach my limit, but some are clearly her anger at not being able to play normally without being spit on or having her toys snatched and thrown/broken. Her plastic toy bins have been smashed, her crayons have been chewed up and/or thrown, her books had to be locked away upstairs for bedtime only. WHen she tries to practive ballet in the living room she has to duck flying books and gobs of spit. I can't take her on playdates (not that we have friends nearby to go see) with Sam home so she is as isolated as I am.
I know when Sam is in school I will be playing catch up on work and cleaning I can't do when he is around. I decided last week that she needs something for herself. We got some respite funding to help pay for two weeks of day camp for Sam in August. We still have to contribute but the funding makes it easier and it allowed me to get a cheap program for Maya. The preschool she will attend this fall has a 3-day a week day camp in July. I didn't sign her up previously because I thought she was a bit young and I didn't think we could pay for it. I contacted them and explained the situation. They said they had a spot free for next week and for two weeks from now. they are book the week in between. I sent a check right away. It was way past the deadline but they were fine with it (I assume it is better for them to have all spots filled anyway). SO Maya is starting camp tomorrow and she is beyond excited. SHe will get to do arts and crafts and play with kids her own age. I think she will do brilliantly.